Thursday, August 27, 2009

Going back to My old oldies :D



Guys! here is a chance to download some of DEMO i repeat demo covers before my release of my ep in september Let me give it to you
i will turn off the link as soon as my ep is release so get it quick to see how it sounds :D

"Right Round Remix with Eric"
http://www.mediafire.com/?htycnztzuzj

"Here in your arms Cover By Eric"
http://www.mediafire.com/?edqjnnk2lyn

'Remembering Sunday Demo Cover By Eric"
http://www.mediafire.com/?sharekey=a05dd0f05a14f2db08f8df73f2072ed6e04e75f6e8ebb871



My list of Bands for Diana

~All time low
~Hellogoodbye
~The scene anesthetic
~Taylor swift
~Demi levato
~Forever the Sickest Kids
~Four Years strong
~A Day to Remember
~Nevershoutnever


Sunday, August 23, 2009

Unknown blog for Dearest

Minutes to Midnights Blog

I usually have a blog to write my life,songs, reflections,stories but today is different

usually i would write about a girl
but it hard for me since my friend said i care too much for her..
yes i do care but who should i blame? My mom?
NO i blame it to myself
I was born with a strict mom who likes to beat me when i was a kid
and that point i cant blame her either for that
from my point of view i was a just being a kid and my mom is ass-wipe
so when i grew up i started being nice to people... i don't want them to be sad
i don't like seeing people get angry or hate
i just dont see the point you know?
like when you drop a carton of milk on the floor
and you like shout at him/her for like 20 min straight whats the use?
get angry? sure but its just a milk!
the past is the past!

So this friend of my told me to write a blog
when i was about to write about this friend of mine(who told me to write a blog) about my feelings for her
my other friend suggest to me that i shouldn't go thru with it
because she said "i care about her too much"
and yes i admit i do care ... but sometimes at school i tend to forget her for awhile...
but i am not edward i am not perfect i just want to find a suitable way to say "i love you" i cant say it because i am "shy" yes i am, but i want to! i want to say it to her... but my friend say dont talk to her for awhile let her think about me... and stuff.. i say thats crap... i dont want her to hanging wondering if i will ever love her or not
My other friend might read this but...
argh...dilemma much...
everynight i would repeat this sentence before i head to bed

"I have faith in myself,i have courage in me,i have the heart to do it, i have the brain to think but i dont have the gut to say i love you but in my mind i can alway see you"

akward for the girl to read but let her tink what i tink...i dont want to hide it

my friend say that i should act like a douche
and dnt give smileys...when i am chatting with her
why?


All i ask from god now is to give me the strength to say "i love you" not in sms,msn,email,fb chat,facebook.... i want to say it face to face.... if you are reading this... i hope you can understand that i am not perfect..my weakness is that i cant say "i love you" for the first time to the girl...
and i never sang a song infront of a girl or even for a girl... but i want to be there to sing =)
and give me the strength... to prove to you. but as you mention you like a guy... and i don't know who that guy is. but whoever he is, he is a lucky man :)

Ps.ILY

let my other friend scold me for saying this to you but i dont care
you might feel akward you might feel weird around me you might hate me
but no matter what the feeling i have inside of me will not change

Gud night





Sickening


Well this is BS* i was looking through my fb when i stubble across a note which is the same EXACT story of mine that i posted here(Love for a 100 days)... i am not going lie i feel really bumped out.... plus it was in indo version.... so what can u expect? then there was a english version posted by my other friend... this is super BS.... but i dont own the story nor facebook so i rather just let it slip thru, for me i think reasonably, some people would directly sue them, but for me its just by coincidence that the story stumbled in her hands. I wont lie... it kinda like your hardwork is taken away.... i wrote it in my own words..(its like a summary) but... whatever...

and plus that girl who posted the same one USE to be my friend now she is just mutual.... i dont even know how.... i use to be close with her... like REALLY close.. she is the one who introduce me to my big bro :) but now it seems she prefer to ignore me then saying a simple "hi" to me... it was me who will always say hi to her then she would say hi and look away... and i wanted to see if she will rep back if i dont say hi... and yes she didnt say Hi so i just felt used over the year.....
oh well...

Thursday, August 20, 2009

How does this Sound for my everyday supply :D

Breakfast:

  • Half grapefruit or 8 oz. Glass of unsweetened grapefruit juice
  • 2 eggs: any style (fry your eggs in butter)
  • 2 slices of bacon

Lunch:

  • Half grapefruit or 8 oz. Glass of unsweetened grapefruit juice
  • Meat, any style, or fish
  • Salad with sugarless dressing

Dinner:

  • Half grapefruit or 8 oz. Glass of unsweetened grapefruit juice
  • Meat, any style, or fish (gravy must not be made with flour)
  • Salad (as much as you can eat) with sugarless dressing
  • Red, green or yellow vegetables, as much as you want (but no potatoes or corn!)

Bedtime Snack:

  • Tomato juice or skimmed milk


WHY IS MY TEACHER BEING A DOUCHE?


So Basically i am really having a bad day today,and a "bad night" as i summarize it, All i can say is that i have started my drinking habit again *Shh* don't tell no one

But i tried to Smile, and who knew my classmate and my awesome friends cheered me up made me smile a little bit more wider i am really lucky to have friends like them :) and i love you all no matter what happen between us.

And my teacher knows that i am having a terrible problem at school and she keeps on nagging me to do this do that Argh she is such a Bitch.
And How dare the teacher says that i didn't F*cking learn my lines for the play I mean what the hell do i come everyday after school and stay till 5 for? having fun?! i have like 60 lines and now its all cut of and have only what? 10? great and 1/10 is the only lines which i haven't learn and she is threaten me to quit the play if i don't memorize it by tomorrow. Hoe...






Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Reply to Eli's Blog

What is love? Love has many different meanings and different types of love, Everyone's love is different.My version of love is when the person you love gives you that feeling like a butterfly in the stomach you know you love them,You care for them,you want to be with them no matter how distant or how far they are, love is not about the status or about the money, nothing can buy love. I remember when i was still in prep and till grade 3 my mom would ask me if i will ever fall in love? I instantly shouted "Mom! I dont like love! they touch their lips together EW what happen if she didnt brush her teeth!" and at the end my mom would laugh. Thinking about it i would laugh too :), I remember when my european friend message me he said "love is a powerful word, Yet people use it like its has no meaning to it because when you are truly in love you always want to be together,and if not you wish you were with them.

To me there are 4 types of love Kids Love,friendship love,And teen love and love
its sounds weird doesn't it from a boy who grew up not believing in love suddenly turned heads to find love?I know.. Because everybody changes their meaning of love as they grew older.

Kids love are nothing but just a stage where he/her stare at a guy/girl at this class and his/her heart told them to go along and play. thats the first start of our feeling of love. rethink when your small. How does it feel laughing with your other gender running,playing hitting and eating together feels great doesn't it?My thoughts of this? Mostly our feeling of love is stronger when we were a child. we were blindly in love.

Friendship love when you get older you develop a sense of insecure with your partner. Bullies tends to make fun of us when we hang out with a the opposite gender(immature much)well i say f*ck em they are just jealous of your love. this is why 60% of teens are depress and insecure,Dont worry its just a friendship love. I hug almost all of my friends and mostly hug my friends who are girls and nobody can say anything. :) because my love is stronger then theirs.

Teen love is when you feel like you found the one, we call it "high school crush" its sounds easy in movies. every girl wants those kind of love but some people tend to mistaken Teen love as in "One night stand" We f*ck we leave. I am in high school right now and yes i must admit i alway say "she's the one!" but who knows? we are still young and our future is brighter then the sun :) she might be the one, she might not. but please dont go around trying all of the girls heart and then break it. :) Who knows one day when your walking home your ex's came marching in with knifes haha!

Love for me love is something that is full of commitment, no jealously no fights( i dont mean we can not argue, we can argue but not till we go physically) we can think about our love one 25/7. and money was never my best. i dont have lots of money but i can give love to the person i care the most. and it is worth the trouble that comes along with it because love gives meaning to life and without love life would be so boring and unrated :)

There you go Eli :D

I dont know about my day....


Hey Guys... How was your day? I hope its better then mine..
It was literally a waste of... I wont even start with it......

its started of pretty great.... Till the end of school trust me i HAD the worst f*cking day of the month

not saying the play that made my day bad its ok ok aja.... i mean its same rountine all over again

but what is really bothering me... is the heart i am locking away so far....
you know like......f*ck it i been in love with this girl for like how long? since last year? Yeah
pretty much i wasted my life saying its her its her its her.... Its F*cking Her She is the one your finding! But i have lost faith in my own words isnt it weird.... I cant say it?

Pretty much my heart hurts alot,I mean,Yeah She likes another guy Who cares i want to be "that guy" that guy who stays with her the guy who cheers he up when she is down, the guy who can sneak her out of the class and bunk the period just to be together,The guy who write chessy love songs just for her,the guy who will txt her at class the guy that helps her in her studies,I want to be that guy,But who i dont want to be is not being who i am, It happen before and i dont want to do it.What happen is She made me pretend to be dick, Leave my friends for her, bring her out everyday.(She said She would give me a blow,Yeah no lie But the past is the past dont remind me of that moment she told me that)Pretty much i cant do all those, and she left me.So i am afraid this might happen.. So i need people to help but f*ck'em i barely can do anything

A small msg. Love the imperfect,perfectly Who knows what will happen if your late.


So guys Leave a yes or no question on this

Monday, August 17, 2009

A Story i want to share :)


Was it the right thing?

it t all started when I was 6 years old. While I was playing outside on my farm in California, I met a boy. He was an average kind of boy who teased you and then you chased them and beat them up. After that first meeting in which I beat him up we kept on meeting and beating each other up at the fence. That only lasted for a little while though. We would meet at the fence all the time and we were always together.

I would tell him all my secrets. He was very quiet he would just listen to what I had to say. I found him easy to talk to and I could talk to him about everything. In school we had separate friends but when we got home we would always talk about what happened in school. One day I said to him that a guy I liked hurt me and broke my heart. He just comforted me and said everything would be okay. He gave me words of encouragement and helped me get over him. I was happy and thought of him as a real friend. But I knew that there was something else about him that I liked. I thought of it that night and figured it was just a friend kinda thing that I was feeling.

All through high school and even through graduation we're always together and of course I thought of it as being friends. But I knew deep inside that I really felt differently. On graduation night even though we had different dates to the prom I wanted to be with him. That night after everybody went home I went to his house and wanted to tell him that I wanted to see him. Well, that night was my big chance and all I did was just sit there with him watching the stars and talking about what I was going to do and what he was going to do. I looked into his eyes and listened to him talk about what his dream was. How he wanted to get married and settle down. He said how he wanted to be rich and successful. All I could do was to tell him my dream and cuddle next to him.

I went home hurting because I didn't tell him how I was feeling. I wanted to tell him so bad that I loved him but I was too scared and frightened. I let my feelings go and told myself that someday I would tell him just how I felt. All through college I wanted to tell him but he always had someone with him. After graduation he got a job in New York, I was happy for him but at the same time I was sad to see him go. I was sad also because I didn't tell him how I felt. But I couldn't let him know now that he was leaving for his big job. So I just kept it to myself and watched him go on the plane. I cried as I hugged him for what I felt was going to be the last time. I went home that night and cried my eyes out. I felt hurt that I didn't tell him what I had inside my heart.

Well, I got a job as a secretary and then worked my way to a computer analyst. I was proud of what I had accomplished. One day I got a letter with an invitation to a marriage. It was from him, I was happy and sad at the same time. Now I know that I could never be with him and that we could only be friends. I went to the wedding the next month. It was a big occasion. The big church wedding and the reception at the hotel. I met the bride and of course him. I fell in love one more time. But I held back so it wouldn't spoil what should be the happiest day in his life. I tried to have fun that night but it was killing me inside watching him being so happy and me trying to be happy covering up my sadness tears inside of me.

I left New York feeling that I did the right thing. Before I left on the flight, he came running out of nowhere and said his good-byes and how he was very happy to see me. I came home and just tried to forget about what went on in New York. I had to go on with my life. As the years went on, we wrote to each other on what was going on and how he had missed talking to me. On one occasion he never wrote back to me at all. I was getting worried as to why he hadn't written anything for a long time after I had already written 6 letters to him. Well, just when everything seemed hopeless and sad in my life, I got a note that said: "meet me at the fence where we used to talk about things". I went and saw him there. I was happy to see him, but he was broken-hearted and sad inside. We hugged until we couldn't breathe anymore.

Then he told me about the divorce and why he hadn't written for a long time. He cried until he couldn't cry anymore. Finally, we went back to the house and talked and laughed about what I had been going and to catch up on old times. But in all of this, I couldn't tell him how I felt about him. In the days that followed, he had fun and forgot about all his problem and his divorce. I fell in love again with him. When it came time for him to leave back to New York, I went to see him off and cried. I hated to see him leave. He promised to see me every time he could get a vacation. I couldn't wait for him to come so I could be with him. We would always have fun when we were together.

One day he didn't show up like he said he would. I figured that he might have been busy. The days turned into months and I just forgot about it. Then I got a call one day from a lawyer in New York. The lawyer said that he had died in a car accident going to the airport. And that it took this long till everything was settled. It broke my heart. I was shocked about what took place. Now I knew why he didn't come that day. Again, I was broken-hearted. I cried that night, cried tears of sadness and heartache. Asking questions why did this happen to a kind guy like him?

I gathered my things and went to New York for the reading of his will. Of course, things were given to his family and his ex-wife. I finally got to meet her since the last time we met at the wedding. She explained to me how he was and how he always provided. But he was always unhappy. She would always try everything but she couldn't get him happy, as he was that night at their wedding. When the will was read, the one thing that was given to me was a diary. It was a diary that of his life. I cried as it was given to me. I didn't know what to think. Why was this given to me? I took it and flew back to California. As I flew on the plane I remembered the good times that we had together. I started reading the diary and what was written.

The diary was started with the day we first met. I read on till I started to cry. The diary told of him saying that he had fallen in love with me that day I was broken-hearted. But he was too afraid to tell me what he had felt. That is why he was so quiet and liked to listen to me. It told of how he wanted to tell me so many times, but was too afraid to say anything. It told of when he went to New York and fell in love with another.

How the happiest time he had was seeing me and dancing with me at the wedding. He said he imagined it was our wedding. How he was always unhappy till he had no choice but to divorce his wife. How the best time in his life was to read the letters written to him by me. Finally, the diary ended when it said, "today I will tell her I love her". It was the day he was killed. The day I was going to finally find out what was really in his heart.

If you love someone, don't wait till tomorrow to tell him/her. Maybe that next day will never come at all.

Writers block





HELP! SOS! :D

Sunday, August 16, 2009

That was embarassing...

I Pretty much Embarass myself..... asking a girl out on msn?!?
really was a shit move....Should had known better :P
oh well she said "no"
so pretty much i embarass myself....now i cant even think straight...

@_@

geez....me and moves are so not the way to ask a girl out....not even on a 70% sale out to the mall ahahahahhaha :D

oh well....Now to get my dignity and redeem myself to where i was..... Let me talk about the movie "the taking of pelham 123" review :D



the movie rating 9.5/10
why?
well it is certainly not your average movie.... though a moments we are able to predict what happen. Denzel washington made the character "garber" a fine middle age man who works at the MTA and was then convicted for bribery. he change his character from Innocent man to a level where no man ever withstand

Pretty much there is a few scene where would understand the situation of economics there... a few basic ones of course.

The story ended nicely with the man walking in a dramatic way back home without a medal of honor from the mayor.... and yet what i dont get it... a scene where his wife ask him to buy a 1 galon of milk really feels weird.... whats the use of it? hahahaha

But overall its a great movie to watch... These type of movie never fail to hype me up in the theather except kevin gets bored and f*cking fall asleep whatcha all think? whas the movie great? you tell me! fill in here!


prettymuchtotellyousheistheoneiliketheoneiwritethe
songsaboutsoifyouarereadingthisjustforgetabout
whatisaidiamjustsayingout
whatilove

Saturday, August 15, 2009

TOUCHE DOUCHE!

hey Guys here is a midnight blog...i RARELY do midnight blog because i am bored i am doing it for you guys :D

So yes i got a few responses from some friends :) and they were pretty stoke to know the girls name... pretty this is public i cant just blur shit out hahaha PLUS SHE READS MY CRAP :D

So i wont just blur shit out..... but i will just give you a clue( COME ON! THE DREAM GIRL LIST WASNT ENOUGH?!) Even the girl doesn't even believe it XD try convincing its her... dare ya. She would say NO WAY.its BS*

Well want more detail about the girl? just for the midnight blog i am doing this for you

Frequent ask Questions

Are you dating that girl yet?
~Currently no,I am not trying to go fast and then ends up fast and i am not trying to be to slow and then end up not being together

Is the Girl Right for you?
~I Cant say she is the PERFECT ONE i mean i am not asking to marry her right?... i am just saying she will forever be my forever sweet heart :D

Is your EP "Cold Story" About her?
~Well...How did you know about my EP name? HAHA its not finalist! It could me "Heart,Mind and Smile,Cold Story,Long Walk, Smiles, Or Self Titled" and if i can find anything that is related to her i might just do it

Is Your EP dedicated to her?
~YES HELL YES, She is the one that inspires me to write more songs about her and a little about my past like 90% about her and 10% about my past hahahah :D

Will you ask her out?
~I need to find the right moment sometimes :P you wont barge into a room and ask a date i need to make sure first

Does she like you
~Pretty much.. i dont know... All she does is talk about a guy :D hahahahaha who knows.... It could be yes... and no, dilemma hits my head alot for this topic blehh ;p

What do you see in her?
~Something ordinary people wont see =]

Explain it
~Males

Please Explain it
~No

Please Please explain it
~NEVER

Please She will read it
~She has the most beautiful laugh ever.. and its pretty rare to have a girl who has a great sense of humor in her :D, Pretty much her eyes too its to beautiful for me to handle. her lips? its so kissable i felt like i shouldn't had gave my first kiss to a 18 year old girl HAHA! and more etc etc

what do you mean by "Too beautiful for me to handle"
~Well... Truth time. I am so below her standards, I pretty much have a strict ass parents and an small portion of cash in my pocket.thats why i keep all of my money and use it once in awhile only.She deserve A GREAT GUY... if it all fails =]

What happen if she rejects you?
~Move on, She's just a girl and i am just a boy =]

ERIC


New fresh song :D

True shit
Real story
Possibly what i am feeling right now


Verse
I Scared i will never get another chance
(Ooh)
i fear that we will never last till the end
(OoH)
i never said i had enough with you
i just dont know why my head is confuse
But i never said i give up on you
i just want you to know i still love you

Must i catch you everytime you fall?
Must i be there everytime you cry?
must i be the one saying sorry its my fault?
Must it be me who will die?
i guess so i will do it all again

I'm not feeling quite the guy i use to be
(ooh)
i never felt your heart should belong to me
(ooh)
but what a waste if i never even love you enough
and all i want is to kiss you
between the lines of the us
i have to be sure that your the one

* i love natural hair girls they are more pretty then fake ones like Heidi Montag*

Friday, August 14, 2009

your the girl i been looking forr :D

Well the title says it all :P

NO i am not desparate :P
i am not like one of my friends
lee dong :hey A(cant expose name feel sorry for her :))
A : hey....
lee dong: Do you tink i am hot?
A: WHAT! EWW!
lee dong: do you want to be my girlfriend :D(with gay face)
A: *no comment*

yuph thats true shit.... :D there is this play we are doing called "joan of arc"
and i was suppose to be like the wingman of joan but just because there is a huggy2 scene
he has to take my role... but you know :D i got my huggy that what you gonna get in the play XD
plus the advantage i can concentrate on my studies and i got a very small role so its gud enough for me :D

ok enough about him lol....

Some of my friends been asking me if the girl you like is truly the one that you think she is?
well lets see with the check list

the Dream girl :D
~Long hair girl
~Black hair
~Understandable
~Commitment
~ funny
~ hyper
~Shorter then me(:P)
i dont ask much just this list for my christmas gift hahahahahah :D

RANDOM FACT!!!: i am currently download hitman the movie hahahahahaahaha

*I LOVE hayley williams more then megan fox but if i can choose to date them i cant choose neither of them...@_@ too smexy! i wonder if i can get half for each..hmm... Hayley fox LOL or Megan williams (i tink megan williams sounds fine to me buy 1 get 2 :D ahhahhaha)

Thursday, August 13, 2009

I am not going to hide, i am not going to buy


My blog been turning my own reflection lately =] but who cares its my blog i get to do what i want :D

there is two topic to talk today. Boo-yah!

For Ages i been hiding, creeping slowly out and back in again.... Why?
Since i was a kid my mom apparently shut all of my reason of fighting back "My freedom"(thats what i said in my childhood Haha), So everytime i give a reason she would beat the shit out of me haha! and so she makes me so vulnerable to any comments and look down and puss out and wont talk back... yeah everybody has their childhood memories and those are mine Since then i was never able to say anything but just say yes,i might fight back with little power but not full. Now i work real hard to overcome this nightmare and i am working hard to do it. i am also trying to overcome my shyness to people.

Side Topic:
Guys saying stuff to me won't make me sit on the chair and worry, not this time. you may call me anything you want "lame,gay,stupid,faggot" but i know who i am, and i love the way i am i am strong and i am believe i can make it through out the day without feeling like crap just because you call me something i am not, You may hurt me all you want with words,hand movements and everything else but those words will be thrown from my mind as you say it, so Guys dont waste your energy on things you can't stop. Just like Katt williams says "There are people who are going to hate you regardless, Dude, get it out of your head that fantasy world where no one is going to hate you, you need haters What the hell you talking about?!, what the hell do you think a haters job is? to freaking hate, so let those dumbass do their motherf*cking job!" Such words... of wisdom hahahah

overcoming this is not a simple job, but yet i am trying my best to keep up with it :D

so here is the deal everytime i post something i will promise i will speak out loud on what i do,what i like and what i dislike? deal? heres the first one

*I listen to Jonas brothers,You guys might say yuck but can you guys make music like them? =)*

See you guys,gays,lesbian,haters
Eric

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Escape

Verse

I tend to say

what i want

i mend to say

i want you

but what i want

to do

is to runaway

find a place

that we can escape

to a place where

no one has staye

no one have ever been

together we will feel

great


Chorus

We'll leave the pass

and enter the future

for you and i

are meant of each other

i feel terribly wrong

if i didnt make it through

but we all know i love you


Verse

i am going to run

to catch your hands

i am going to talk to your dad

just to let us have fun

to go find the lost

paradise fall

where we would

fly with balloons

and feel so lost

with the dreams

we cross

to the place where

we would have made

no one has ever been

together we will feel great

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Bad Week,Feeling Real lost

Hey guys sorry about not posting for a long time
i just feel really awful Though nobody actually read this crap :D
anyway this past few days been terrible and not the one i want to remember
not that i hate my life, its just that some people Change and all i want is them back thats all

Here it is Cast list of the person involve in my F*ck up week
The Guy i look up to- Mr.X
the guy friends i pretty much support- SBG
My Sis-Miss Y
My awesome friend -Miss V
So here is it

Have u ever had a person who you LOOK UP TO?At School? if yea than thats me
and that guy is Mr.X the super duper awesome Songwriter.... A school's importante person you can say, He was pretty much popular(Updated:HE IS POPULAR) and yet he is the kindness guy i ever talk to, Great singer not to mention. he is the guy who first inspired me to play guitar not anyone from International bands...NO its him He inspired me to play guitar. A years gone by and things got a bit rough on the edges and he was their for me when i broke up with my girlfriend last year, he made me super happy by telling me to listen to "King of wishful Thinking" (Ps.Awesome band!) he made me happy in no less then 3 days by listening to that song thanks Mr.X for that
And last year Mr.X created his stage name and sooner before the year 2008 finish he made it a full time band with Mr.X and SBG together.

i remember when he grew big i mean literally BIG at school, grew more popular, more friends, and lots more while then i was the only one to notice i am starting to lose Mr.X(sorry dude the truth) thats what i felt, i am not quite sure But everytime i meet him nowadays he just says "Hi" i was kinda bummed out you know, and he was the guy who introduces me to GK yeah.... i am not Much of a gk collector to be truthful its quite pricy and anyway.... here come the bad part he has almost every single tshirt there, and i pretty much got the same tshirt as him and remember what i told you about he becoming famous? So famous that he even reach till my grade and when i wear the exact GK(Though he didn't wear it to school) People are like Calling me Poser,Here is the good part, Mr.X was yet there again to help me thru it
i remember what he says "If you dress like someone abit doesn't mean your a poser but that person is a role model to you" and YES he became my role model/Big brother/friend/and a person who look up to

You might have fans but you must remember i look up to you

and so goes the story to tell, My life was being threaten with words like "Hey you look like Mr.X,POSER!,CopyCat!,Have your own style!"Etc etc

and this present year (2009) things was going fine.... i was trying to mix styles so i would not look like a Mr.X Clone and this holiday season i found some american apparel so yea i bought it Its Red( yup see i just basically give u guys a foreshadow :P)i didnt know Mr.X has a red one too but till now no one notice it yet its the same,I didnt know he has it too...which pretty much sucks

and now yeas gone by his band is up to fame and i am just left out i guess
and a week ago i said "Hi Mr.X!" he replied "Hi" look away.... i mean what happen to him? it is true that some of my friends meet him and now they are close while i am not... i miss those days where we would just jam normally together and i remember when we last jam together, it was near the assembly place thats the last time i ever remember. its just like i want to beat the shit outta myself for not having the guts to say anything and yea thats true i am a pussy i dnt really say shits out

i mean everytime i look at him with my friend its just ARGH!.... you know not angry at them but i am angry at the fact that i cant deal with situations like this......they are seen together with Miss V and Y

Sidestory:

Miss Y is(or was) my sister dearest, the last time i could remember we was pretty much tight with her now it just like i am not the one there.... i remember when i bought her a cake she pretty much doesnt have much of a great reaction and ... no one told her that i was the one who bought the cake and doesnt even bother too oh well... we use to hug everytime we meet now the last time i remember the last hug was her birthday thats it and yet again all we do now is "hi" ... what happen? i miss you =[

Back to the story i mean even now Mr.X and SBG dnt talk to me.... i feel like it.... i just dont like the fact that my role model and the person who inspired drifts away so far i cant even have a decent talk with him.. i just want to say to him(i bet he wont read it) I miss you koko... miss the fact that we use to hang out... the fact we use to get drunk and sing avenge... i miss eating mcdonald in class with you i miss the day we go to the japanese restaurant near the school oh well.... as times flies... so does my friends... =[

I changed? or Did he?