A final word of thanks

We might not be the same people as we use to be, where we would joke around things
where i would have listen to your webcam chat about your room till you go off


were fate leads us we don't know, thats why everything is a surprise
where i am heading to in the future i barely know
when will the answer be? it was today sorta like 10 min ago...
it was a soft "no" because i understand


I took alot of time, never saw the clock, never saw your feelings changes,never bother to see what lies ahead of me


2 days ago in the facebook inbox i type "i love you" and if i could go back 2 days ago i would still write the same no matter what the answer will be. if i would regret meeting you i would say "No" because you make my heart smile and still it does
and if i have any comment on what happen... i can only say this 


"feelings comes and go, i never thought i would at last express how i feel after a long time. my legs are still shaking. and i am repeating "breathe" by taylor swift again and again... and actually i am the one who shuld say sorry.... I'm sorry it took damn long... i'm sorry i can't say it out loud to you as soon as possible i'm sorry that if i ever kept you waiting... i'm sorry you ever love me...*wiping the tears from me keyboard* aww f*ck.... what is this feeling? the lost of despair? or the feeling of being late.... I knew the sanctity of deadline was posted in my classroom was for no reason.... anyway to the girl i cherish alot I am sorry"


I have this problem called "adhd" which main point is not able to pay attention... not able to concentrate... not able to stop moving... and not able to be confident about things... when i said "i love you" i fought my adhd and i was shaken up and felt insecure but i did it all for you because sooner or later i knew you are going to see it.. 


so this is goodbye i guess? 
even though we say lets still be frens
frankly, I don't think we are going still going to be the same
again... heck I never overcome shyness in my adhd
but you must know i still love you...


cared,love,broken
Eric

Going back to My old oldies :D

Guys! here is a chance to download some of DEMO i repeat demo covers before my release of my ep in september Let me give it to you

i will turn off the link as soon as my ep is release so get it quick to see how it sounds :D

"Right Round Remix with Eric"

http://www.mediafire.com/?htycnztzuzj

"Here in your arms Cover By Eric"

http://www.mediafire.com/?edqjnnk2lyn

'Remembering Sunday Demo Cover By Eric"

http://www.mediafire.com/?sharekey=a05dd0f05a14f2db08f8df73f2072ed6e04e75f6e8ebb871

My list of Bands for Diana

~All time low

~Hellogoodbye

~The scene anesthetic

~Taylor swift

~Demi levato

~Forever the Sickest Kids

~Four Years strong

~A Day to Remember

~Nevershoutnever

Unknown blog for Dearest

Minutes to Midnights Blog

I usually have a blog to write my life,songs, reflections,stories but today is different

usually i would write about a girl

but it hard for me since my friend said i care too much for her..

yes i do care but who should i blame? My mom?

NO i blame it to myself

I was born with a strict mom who likes to beat me when i was a kid

and that point i cant blame her either for that

from my point of view i was a just being a kid and my mom is ass-wipe

so when i grew up i started being nice to people... i don't want them to be sad

i don't like seeing people get angry or hate

i just dont see the point you know?

like when you drop a carton of milk on the floor

and you like shout at him/her for like 20 min straight whats the use?

get angry? sure but its just a milk!

the past is the past!

So this friend of my told me to write a blog

when i was about to write about this friend of mine(who told me to write a blog) about my feelings for her

my other friend suggest to me that i shouldn't go thru with it

because she said "i care about her too much"

and yes i admit i do care ... but sometimes at school i tend to forget her for awhile...

but i am not edward i am not perfect i just want to find a suitable way to say "i love you" i cant say it because i am "shy" yes i am, but i want to! i want to say it to her... but my friend say dont talk to her for awhile let her think about me... and stuff.. i say thats crap... i dont want her to hanging wondering if i will ever love her or not

My other friend might read this but...

argh...dilemma much...

everynight i would repeat this sentence before i head to bed

"I have faith in myself,i have courage in me,i have the heart to do it, i have the brain to think but i dont have the gut to say i love you but in my mind i can alway see you"

akward for the girl to read but let her tink what i tink...i dont want to hide it

my friend say that i should act like a douche

and dnt give smileys...when i am chatting with her

why?

All i ask from god now is to give me the strength to say "i love you" not in sms,msn,email,fb chat,facebook.... i want to say it face to face.... if you are reading this... i hope you can understand that i am not perfect..my weakness is that i cant say "i love you" for the first time to the girl...

and i never sang a song infront of a girl or even for a girl... but i want to be there to sing =)

and give me the strength... to prove to you. but as you mention you like a guy... and i don't know who that guy is. but whoever he is, he is a lucky man :)

Ps.ILY

let my other friend scold me for saying this to you but i dont care

you might feel akward you might feel weird around me you might hate me

but no matter what the feeling i have inside of me will not change

Gud night

Sickening

Well this is BS* i was looking through my fb when i stubble across a note which is the same EXACT story of mine that i posted here(Love for a 100 days)... i am not going lie i feel really bumped out.... plus it was in indo version.... so what can u expect? then there was a english version posted by my other friend... this is super BS.... but i dont own the story nor facebook so i rather just let it slip thru, for me i think reasonably, some people would directly sue them, but for me its just by coincidence that the story stumbled in her hands. I wont lie... it kinda like your hardwork is taken away.... i wrote it in my own words..(its like a summary) but... whatever...

and plus that girl who posted the same one USE to be my friend now she is just mutual.... i dont even know how.... i use to be close with her... like REALLY close.. she is the one who introduce me to my big bro :) but now it seems she prefer to ignore me then saying a simple "hi" to me... it was me who will always say hi to her then she would say hi and look away... and i wanted to see if she will rep back if i dont say hi... and yes she didnt say Hi so i just felt used over the year.....

oh well...

How does this Sound for my everyday supply :D

Breakfast:

• Half grapefruit or 8 oz. Glass of unsweetened grapefruit juice
• 2 eggs: any style (fry your eggs in butter)
• 2 slices of bacon

Lunch:

• Half grapefruit or 8 oz. Glass of unsweetened grapefruit juice
• Meat, any style, or fish
• Salad with sugarless dressing

Dinner:

• Half grapefruit or 8 oz. Glass of unsweetened grapefruit juice
• Meat, any style, or fish (gravy must not be made with flour)
• Salad (as much as you can eat) with sugarless dressing
• Red, green or yellow vegetables, as much as you want (but no potatoes or corn!)

Bedtime Snack:

• Tomato juice or skimmed milk

WHY IS MY TEACHER BEING A DOUCHE?

So Basically i am really having a bad day today,and a "bad night" as i summarize it, All i can say is that i have started my drinking habit again *Shh* don't tell no one

But i tried to Smile, and who knew my classmate and my awesome friends cheered me up made me smile a little bit more wider i am really lucky to have friends like them :) and i love you all no matter what happen between us.

And my teacher knows that i am having a terrible problem at school and she keeps on nagging me to do this do that Argh she is such a Bitch.

And How dare the teacher says that i didn't F*cking learn my lines for the play I mean what the hell do i come everyday after school and stay till 5 for? having fun?! i have like 60 lines and now its all cut of and have only what? 10? great and 1/10 is the only lines which i haven't learn and she is threaten me to quit the play if i don't memorize it by tomorrow. Hoe...

Reply to Eli's Blog

What is love? Love has many different meanings and different types of love, Everyone's love is different.My version of love is when the person you love gives you that feeling like a butterfly in the stomach you know you love them,You care for them,you want to be with them no matter how distant or how far they are, love is not about the status or about the money, nothing can buy love. I remember when i was still in prep and till grade 3 my mom would ask me if i will ever fall in love? I instantly shouted "Mom! I dont like love! they touch their lips together EW what happen if she didnt brush her teeth!" and at the end my mom would laugh. Thinking about it i would laugh too :), I remember when my european friend message me he said "love is a powerful word, Yet people use it like its has no meaning to it because when you are truly in love you always want to be together,and if not you wish you were with them.

To me there are 4 types of love Kids Love,friendship love,And teen love and love

its sounds weird doesn't it from a boy who grew up not believing in love suddenly turned heads to find love?I know.. Because everybody changes their meaning of love as they grew older.

Kids love are nothing but just a stage where he/her stare at a guy/girl at this class and his/her heart told them to go along and play. thats the first start of our feeling of love. rethink when your small. How does it feel laughing with your other gender running,playing hitting and eating together feels great doesn't it?My thoughts of this? Mostly our feeling of love is stronger when we were a child. we were blindly in love.

Friendship love when you get older you develop a sense of insecure with your partner. Bullies tends to make fun of us when we hang out with a the opposite gender(immature much)well i say f*ck em they are just jealous of your love. this is why 60% of teens are depress and insecure,Dont worry its just a friendship love. I hug almost all of my friends and mostly hug my friends who are girls and nobody can say anything. :) because my love is stronger then theirs.

Teen love is when you feel like you found the one, we call it "high school crush" its sounds easy in movies. every girl wants those kind of love but some people tend to mistaken Teen love as in "One night stand" We f*ck we leave. I am in high school right now and yes i must admit i alway say "she's the one!" but who knows? we are still young and our future is brighter then the sun :) she might be the one, she might not. but please dont go around trying all of the girls heart and then break it. :) Who knows one day when your walking home your ex's came marching in with knifes haha!

Love for me love is something that is full of commitment, no jealously no fights( i dont mean we can not argue, we can argue but not till we go physically) we can think about our love one 25/7. and money was never my best. i dont have lots of money but i can give love to the person i care the most. and it is worth the trouble that comes along with it because love gives meaning to life and without love life would be so boring and unrated :)

There you go Eli :D