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Minutes to Midnights Blog

I usually have a blog to write my life,songs, reflections,stories but today is different

usually i would write about a girl

but it hard for me since my friend said i care too much for her..

yes i do care but who should i blame? My mom?

NO i blame it to myself

I was born with a strict mom who likes to beat me when i was a kid

and that point i cant blame her either for that

from my point of view i was a just being a kid and my mom is ass-wipe

so when i grew up i started being nice to people... i don't want them to be sad

i don't like seeing people get angry or hate

i just dont see the point you know?

like when you drop a carton of milk on the floor

and you like shout at him/her for like 20 min straight whats the use?

get angry? sure but its just a milk!

the past is the past!

So this friend of my told me to write a blog

when i was about to write about this friend of mine(who told me to write a blog) about my feelings for her

my other friend suggest to me that i shouldn't go thru with it

because she said "i care about her too much"

and yes i admit i do care ... but sometimes at school i tend to forget her for awhile...

but i am not edward i am not perfect i just want to find a suitable way to say "i love you" i cant say it because i am "shy" yes i am, but i want to! i want to say it to her... but my friend say dont talk to her for awhile let her think about me... and stuff.. i say thats crap... i dont want her to hanging wondering if i will ever love her or not

My other friend might read this but...

argh...dilemma much...

everynight i would repeat this sentence before i head to bed

"I have faith in myself,i have courage in me,i have the heart to do it, i have the brain to think but i dont have the gut to say i love you but in my mind i can alway see you"

akward for the girl to read but let her tink what i tink...i dont want to hide it

my friend say that i should act like a douche

and dnt give smileys...when i am chatting with her

why?

All i ask from god now is to give me the strength to say "i love you" not in sms,msn,email,fb chat,facebook.... i want to say it face to face.... if you are reading this... i hope you can understand that i am not perfect..my weakness is that i cant say "i love you" for the first time to the girl...

and i never sang a song infront of a girl or even for a girl... but i want to be there to sing =)

and give me the strength... to prove to you. but as you mention you like a guy... and i don't know who that guy is. but whoever he is, he is a lucky man :)

Ps.ILY

let my other friend scold me for saying this to you but i dont care

you might feel akward you might feel weird around me you might hate me

but no matter what the feeling i have inside of me will not change

Gud night